If you’re bothered and have a monopoly board, get it out because we’re about to play!

(For all intents and purposes for this game to work, we’ll substitute ‘jail’ and ‘free parking’ for ‘community chest’ and ‘chance’ as neither of us got free parking because we don’t have a car and fortunately we didn’t get arrested. We will also substitute ‘community chest’ and ‘chance’ for all train stations and utilities along with ‘super tax’ and ‘income tax’ as neither of these apply to the Battlers (we got the tube everywhere, no trains). We will also use three dice instead of the usual two, allowing us to move around the board at a quicker pace)

[token of choice: thimble – because nobody is ever that]

[roll dice]
[rolled a seven]
[Chance: Dordle to Westminster Parliament, Westminster Abbey and the Big Ben]
As it was Remembrance Day the day before, there were loads of poppy’s scattered about the place as well as crucifix’s with fallen soldiers’ names printed on them. We didn’t go inside because it was too expensive.

[roll dice]
[rolled a ten]
[Community Chest: Go for a walk through St James Park. You Battlers need it]
Squirrels! They bounce around St James Park quicker than their foe on the hunt for peanuts laying amongst the fallen golden autumn leaves. Also home to the biggest ducks and geese we’ve ever seen in our lives. Eddie’s bad memories of when he was a kid getting chased by a goose didn’t help trying to bypass these big fellas guarding the path through the park.

[roll dice]
[rolled a nine]
[Leicester Square]
Didn’t buy any property here as the budget didn’t allow it. Instead we went into the four level M&M shop but didn’t buy any chocolate. I know, we’re weird.

[roll dice]
[rolled a three]
[Piccadilly]
Looked around the shops and took in the ambience. And no, Piccadilly Circus is indeed NOT a circus like one of the Battlers thought it was. Yep, Eddie was seriously surprised when I broke the news to him that we were not going to Piccadilly to participate in the audience of a circus act.

[roll dice]
[rolled a five]
[Bond Street]
Great mates with Oxford Street. They’re basically joint at the hip and are twins. The Battlers started window shopping along here onwards to Oxford Street.

[roll dice]
[rolled an eight]
[Community Chest: Since you’ve been backpacking, you’ve become incredibly close to the definition of a moron. Go to Oxford University to go get some smarts into you]
Coach from Victoria Station to see Oxford Uni. Had to pay to get in so we did, as well as being taken on a tour by the pamphlet we were each handed. Home to a few scenes of Harry Potter such as in the Chamber of Secrets when one of the girls’ blood is drawn on the walls; and the stairs leading up to the great hall. Caught up with a mate of Eddie’s, Ellie, who is studying at Oxford. Had a beer at the ‘Bear Inn’, established in the early 1200’s. The roof wasn’t very high so everyone must have been way shorter back then. Or it was a dwarf bar. Both equally likely possibilities.

[roll dice]
[rolled a ten]
[Chance: Congratulations! You have the opportunity to visit Camden! Don’t waste it!]
It was the weekend which meant the Camden markets. They were insanely huge. Never seen so much alty and vintage accessories and clothing. There is so much cool stuff the Battlers wish they could have bought but circumstances with baggage and getting it all back home proves to be a bit of a downer.

[wee break]

[count all our money / budget check to make sure nobody else has stolen any since we’ve been momentarily absent]

[roll dice]
[rolled a six]
[Marlborough Street]
[nothing]

[roll dice]
[rolled a fourteen]
[Oxford Street]
Continued to have a squigereedidge around the shops along this stretch. Going to see how the budgets pan out as to whether we can buy anything from any of these shops. They are the best shops in the world.
It was also here we had a few beverages one night with Nicole Ramson (Tegan’s good friend’s older sister). She is living in London and working for a few years. Ended up having way more drinks than expected, but definitely nothing wrong with that!

[roll dice]
[rolled a seven]
[Mayfair]
Where the rich people earn and play with their money. Amazingly nice cars and the swagger is noticeable from afar. As it was more of a business district we only bypassed here.

[roll dice]
[rolled a sixteen]
[Community Chest: The Queen invites you to an event at Buckingham Palace because you Battlers are just so damn adorable]
The flag was at full mast indicating the monarch wasn’t at her throne.
As the changing of the guards happens only a few times a week in the low season unlike everyday in the high season, every man and his dog was there to see it. Watched it for a while but left before they had actually changed. Seemed like a ridiculous amount of procedure all for a guard change.

[roll dice]
[rolled a five]
[Chance: The Battlers were lucky enough to pay £20 for a ride on the London Eye]
Absolute bloody pearla of a day! Not a cloud in the sky. Jumped in the ferris wheel type contraption to get a low altitude flying bird’s eye view of London. Took about halfa to complete a full spin but got there in the end.

[roll dice]
[rolled a three]
[Fleet Street]
[nothing]

[roll dice]
[rolled a seven]
[Chance: Check out Abbey Road. Don’t get your hopes up though]
What a bloody let down. The Beatles weren’t even there to take a photo of crossing the road. It was just another ordinary crossing except four famous blokes got a photo crossing it. We took some snaps but it just looks like we’ve taken photos of a crossing. Nothing distinct about the Abbey Road crossing. There are two crossings however and after looking on the map, turns out the Battlers, as well as everybody else with the same disappointment, were taking photos of the wrong crossing. The pictured crossing was a bit further down Abbey Road. Dozza and I had a good chuckle at that.

[roll dice]
[rolled a six]
[Chance: You’ve run into some new friends. What better way to do away with any sort of awkwardness by meeting them at London Bridge]
Stayed at London Bridge at the St Christopher’s Village hostel. As we were staying right next to the Borough Markets, we decided to meet Ellie from Oxford and Dan from Amsterdam here. Dan was one of the Aussie blokes we hung out with when we were in Amsterdam and Ellie we hung out with in Oxford as she studies there. The Borough Markets were foreign as well as cultural and organic food markets. After seeing those relatively quickly we grabbed a few bevvy’s with Ellie and Dan at a nearby pub.

[roll dice]
[rolled a five]
[Old Kent Road]
[This property isn’t available but there is another ghetto you can go and check out; Notting Hill]
Home to the famous Portobello Road and Portobello markets. Even though the markets weren’t on when the Battlers were roaming down the street, the vintage shops and second hand stuff certainly was interesting. Was a bit of a ghetto around this part of London. A lot of dodgy stuff happens here at night I reckon.

[roll dice]
[rolled a sixteen]
[Community Chest: Visit Knightsbridge to a store you won’t have even slightly enough money for]
The first time the Battlers ever laid eyes on ‘Harrod’s’. An unbelievable scent of rich mahogany with many leather bound book owners entering and exiting to purchase materialistic goods worth in the thousands to tens of thousands of pounds. Door men, carrying shopping bags to the most luxurious cars you’ve only ever seen in car magazines and on Top Gear. There was a diamond necklace on display for £2,000,000. It was too bloody obvious we didn’t fit in when we had a squizz inside. As we couldn’t afford the cheapest thing with our money combined we bailed.

[roll dice]
[rolled an eight]
[Chance: Unfortunately the Battlers have to visit the Natural History Museum, the British Museum and the National Gallery]
British Museum
I would love to find the person who told us this museum was apparently ‘awesome’! It was a museum for one, as you probably already know, I’m not a big fan of. And two, it was a museum with ruins and all that crap in there. Talk about a double whammy of boring. They hit the nail on the head with that one.

Natural History Museum
This was cool about evolution and all the different natural and environmental things in the past, present and future of our Earth. Felt like we were on a school excursion though. This was also free.

National Galllery
Went into here because the admission was free. We hate looking at art so have no clue why we thought it would be a good idea to have a squander.

[roll dice]
[rolled a twelve]
[Park Lane]
Same deal as Mayfair. Can’t afford anything, and there wasn’t much to look at but buildings. So what was the point?

[roll dice]
[rolled a seven]
[Community Chest: Go to ‘The Church’ in Shepherd’s Bush and find out what it’s all about]
This day was insane. Probably one of the most fun things we have done in London. The Battlers caught the Tube to Sherms and Taylor’s place (two blokes we hung out with at Oktoberfest) and started drinking the English form of goon called ‘White Ace’. After several glasses of White Ace, the four of us went to Primark and bought animal onsies. Why the hell would we do that I hear you ask? Well, we did it because we were going to The Church. A completely unconventional kind of church that you would have never heard of or even seen before. This church was a real church but had a bar, loads of drunk youths and a stage where strippers would strip. It was insane. One of the main customs though, was that you had to dress up. And so that was the reason for our onsies. Sherms got a parrot, Taylor got a giraffe, Eddie got a dinosaur and I got a tiger. After partying at The Church – it’s only open from 12pm-4pm – everybody got the tube to Walkabout. It was here that it really turned up a notch. Some girls ripped one of my four t-shirts open which I wasn’t and still am not extremely impressed with. Nevertheless, it was a bloody epic day! The Battlers had a blast.

[roll dice]
[rolled an eight]
[Community Chest: Fumble around Brick Lane and see what you can find]
Had a gander around the shops in Brick Lane. Surprise, surprise, they’re vintage shops! So much vintage stuff, it all starts to look the same. I guess it is vintage though so it’s not like anybody can go and create new vintage stuff because then it wouldn’t be vintage.

[roll dice]
[rolled a ten]
[Chance: The day isn’t too shabby, why not have a geez at Hyde Park]
Walked through Hyde Park, realising that Sydney doesn’t show any originality and has pretty much just copied every name London has for a park or street. Shame on us. In the park, people are setting up a fair type thing for the Christmas winter wonderland thingo. It’ll be open next week I believe so that should be good to see. Strolled like a couple of cool cats over to Princess Diana’s Memorial Fountain.

[Can’t finish the game because we’ve been playing for ten days and now Eddie has to get to Heathrow to fly home to Australia! Don’t worry though, I’m staying for about another seven weeks so there will still be more battling stories to come!]