The dream to visit the apparently ‘most romantic city in the world’ starts as a little girl and continues until you visit and even long after. At least that’s what Eddie tells me. Personally, I don’t see how it’s the most romantic city in the world. To have a guess, I’d say that Paris has taken this title because, although it does have pretty and internationally well known monuments, those who dream to go there and even those who haven’t been aren’t as fortunate as the Battlers to understand that there are a thousand other locations that Paris has nothing on in terms of romance. Of course each to their own. And I am a romantic so it can’t be ruled out that that’s the only reason why I think people’s assumptions are wrong.

There are three types of public transport symbols in Paris; metro, tram and bus. The difference between the metro and team symbols is that one number in the circle is coloured in and the other is not. Blind sided by this knowledge, the Battlers caught a metro to get a connector that stops outside our hostel. We wanted to get on metro three but caught the first metro to tram three unknowingly. After purchasing our tickets we continued to walk the tunnels of the underground until we realised we were at road level at a tram station. Dammit. We had ended up in the ghettos of Paris. And now I know exactly what Kanye and Jay-Z were rapping about on track three of their joint album ‘Watch The Throne’. This incompetent maneuver added an extra halfa before we got to Absolute Hostel.
I won’t speak much about the hostel except for our room stunk of horrendous body odor and terribly smelly feet.

The arvo we got to Paris, the Battlers met up with Zoe, a Brissy girl we had met in Berlin. Saw Notre Dame cathedral but no sign of Quasimodo.

After a bit of din dins, the Battlers, Zoe and two girls she was rooming with got the metro to the Champs Élysées. Went to Ladurée, a tea house on the – give or take – ten lane famous road. Unfortunately for the tea drinkers, it was dinner time so tea time was over. They had a tonne of different macaroons there though and considering this was the hometown of the macaroon, how could I resist. Got a green apple, salted caramel and rose petal. Green apple was definitely the winner. Had a quick geez at a distance of the Eiffel Tower’s light show before heading back.
I got told by Zoe that I “rape the English language.” What I think she meant to say was ‘I have, to most, an unspeakable colloquial vocabulary.’ I’ll leave your opinions of my way with words up to you.

The next day was an early start, fanging it to the Louvre to beat the lines. Got in without much hassle. Went and had a squigereedidge at the Monna Lisa first. Bigger than I remember. Never have I experienced being pushed around by so many Asians trying to get pictures if it. Was worse than what I can only imagine a mosh pit for that idiot, untalented performer ‘Psy’, with the whole of Asian attending. Unbelievable how aggressive people get over a bloody painting. Saw some other paintings and statues including the Venus statue where the chicks arms are ripped off. Cost 11€ to get into the museum. Only time I don’t mind spending that much let alone any money to go into a museum. I know it sounds like I hated it but if you’ve been following you’d understand my utter distaste for museums. This one I don’t mind.

Walked through the park to the Champs Élysées all the way along to the Arc de Triumph. Absolutely love the Champs Élysées. That makes me feel like I’m in Paris way more than anything else, including the tower.

Metro’d it to the best view point of the Eiffel Tower and took a couple of shots. Was nice. Didn’t bother going up it. Have been curious since we got here whether or not it’s made out of the same material as the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Looks like it is. Mysteries all ‘round.

Perksy has been to Paris, seven years ago, so a lot of the stuff he’d already seen. Was good to see it in a slightly different perspective though. Real expensive place Paris is. Was freaking boiling hot the whole time we were there as well. Couldn’t stop sweating the whole time. Was the Battlers last stop in France. Next place is England. Dover to be exact. Apparently it’s a shithole so we’ll be soon to find out.

Take it easy Paris, see ya soon