“Let’s go to Melbourne one weekend soon, I’ve never been there before.” – an intoxicated conversation last month

Banging around the airport having a geez through judy free – the domestic airport version of duty free. Strutting along the tarmac and up the stairs of a Tiger Airlines plane, the Muppets couldn’t help but feel as though it would have been more comfortable to jump on the back of an actual tiger and ride down to Melbourne. If the Muppets had fallen asleep at the airport and woken up on the plane with no knowledge of where we were going, we would have been able to pick that we were travelling to Melbourne pretty quickly. The bloke sitting in our row was a deadset stereotype of the regular bypassing consumer of the arty and pop cultured alley ways. A bloke with hair down to his nips and a small hat keeping his locks off his face, pink ‘reading’ glasses, iPad on his lap leaning against his severely oversized sweater. SPOTTED: a hipster.

Rooftop bars, another reason to get run over crossing the road (trams), hole in the wall cafes, beards and street art. Naviguessing around the streets trying to find the best and most secretive places to serve our thirsty lips and growling stomaches, this weekend was definitely not an exercise in how to save a few dollars.

Abandoning the trams landed the Muppets in more of an uncomfortable situation than ever intended. Local knowledge from a driver didn’t turn out to be as helpful as initially thought as the Muppets found themselves in a place called Madame Brussels that night. A pink sign on the lift up to the rooftop bar that began with ‘Good evening darlings’ was ironically not enough of a sign to suggest that the fence we were looking over was filled with a completely opposite type of backyard to what we prefer. Blokes with tighter short shorts than a dad who makes his kids shower at the beach to save money on the monthly water bill, is what confirmed that the driver who gave the recommendations batted for the other team.

Both nights ended at the casino throwing chips back to the seagulls who provided them at the Crown. Long days and not much sleep meant the hair of the dog was more prevalent than ever before.

Still afraid to open up the bank account to see the coins that were spent, the Muppets invested their dollars wisely in a weekend that may just become a bi-monthly or quarterly slog