Summary of The Perks Of Patagonia

Day 1.

• Got lost (15 minutes down the wrong path);
• Didn’t see the Three Towers (20mm rain/sleet and thick low sitting cloud).

Day 2.

• Got lost (walked down wrong path and spent 10 minutes trying to work out how to safely cross a river without swimming. Turns out there was a bridge on the correct path 500m upstream)

Day 3.

• Got lost (navigated my own path and ended up above the tree line on my way to Britanico. Aptly names my lookout, Australiano);
• Slipped in the mud (fell like a sack of bricks / tonne of potato’s – looked like a knob doing so).

Day 4.

• Got lost (ended up on the edge of a cliff boarding a glacier);
• Rolled my ankle;
• Got coat hangered by a tree;
• Blown off my hooves in the ‘strong wind’.

Day 5.

• Didn’t get lost!

Patagonia you bloody beautiful bastard! Like the most memorable experiences of your life, photographs will never do this justice compared to what the eye can envision.

There are many different parts of Patagonia that are yearning to be explored. The Longitudinal Larrikin adventured to Torres Del Paine National Park for 5-days to complete the W-Trek (or ‘double yewww’ as it was referred to). It’s called the W-Trek because the route is in the shape of a W. With no guide, all the Larrikin was given was a map and a lift to the start of the track. This trek was the absolute definition of self-guided.

The following is a more in-depth breakdown, photographs included, detailing each day. The Larrikin hopes you enjoy this recount as much as he did living each moment.

Day 1 – Base de las Torres

Christmas Day! An incredibly early start but not because the big fat man in red with a white beard had trespassed via the chimney. It was the first day of the W and the Three Towers were on the menu. If you Google Images, Patagonia, it’s the most likely first thing you’ll see. A 20km return hike seems easy when it’s the novelty of the first day and you have a bunch of energy. Except in Patagonia, they don’t lie when they say ‘12 seasons in a day’. The Larrikin was welcomed to 20mm of rain, wind that will knock you on one foot, and low bearing cloud that blocks your view of God’s artwork, the very thing you hiked to see. Good metaphor to life: ‘if it’s raining, stay indoors’….. just kidding, clearly it’s that things don’t always go to plan and that’s just the way life is. This could not have been clearer as his first 15 minutes hiking for the trek were in the complete opposite direction of where he was meant to be going. The Larrikin must not have been good this year – coal was replaced by clouds.

 

To confess, the Longitudinal Larrikin didn’t actually realise what he was hiking toward until dinner that night when he eavesdropped on a couple discussing the Three Towers. He has no idea of this itinerary; just go with the flow. Hardly appropriate considering it was a ‘self-guided’ hike.

Day 2 – Camp Frances

There was strong consideration to re-hike to the Three Towers, adding an extra 6-hours hiking onto an already 6.5-hour hiking day. The clouds were hanging around like a Venezuelan street vendor. They weren’t going to give up so the decision was made… the Larrikin was not going to see the Three Towers on this adventure. Unfortunate and far from ideal but the reality of this place. Time to move on.

Camp Frances was, as the name suggests, a camp ground. Nothing outstanding there and so it was more about the journey rather than the destination. Undulating hills, scouring the edge of cliff faces with an aqua blue Nordernskjöld Lake glamorously flaunting against the green background.

 

Everything was gravy until the Larrikin hit a bunch of rocks with a large river crossing. There was absolutely not bloody way they could expect people to walk through the river crossing nor jump two metres from rock to rock. The Larrikin decided to hike up the stream to find an easier place to cross. After 500m, he was met with a bridge. Clearly the bridge he was supposed to cross, connected to the path he was supposed to take. Absolute moron!

The cramps started at dinner and he was walking around like he had a llama neck up his backside. Between that and trying to sleep next to a loudly flowing river in a mozzy infested forest, the Larrikin was in for one hell of a night.

Day 3 – French Valley & Britanico Lookout

Only a 30 minute walk to Italiano Camp where the Larrikin dropped off his bag and commenced the 6-hour return hike up to Britanico Lookout where he’d see the back of the Three Towers and a jaw-dropping view of the Frances Glacier. One problem… again, the Larrikin took the wrong path. There was a fun looking rickety bridge and so subconsciously he wanted this to be the right way so he could go over the bridge. Only 20 minutes in the wrong direction… dope.

Back on track toward Britanico. The Frances Glacier lookout was breathtaking. Throughout the previous night, the Larrikin kept hearing thunder cracking. At least that’s what he thought it was, until he realised that is wasn’t thunder, it was chunks of the glacier breaking off and falling. Deafening.

He continued up to Britanico with an unintended detour. The Larrikin has again, somehow taken the wrong turn and ended up hooking a right and climbing above the tree line. Sensational view but it wasn’t Britanico. It was appropriately named ‘Australiano’.

Britanico provided a 360 degree view of the whole valley. The Larrikin could have sat up there all day. Fresh, crisp air. At that moment in time, nothing else mattered. Solitude at its finest.

Following the return to Italiano Camp to collect his bag, the Larrikin headed for Paine Grande, treated for a vista of Sköttsberg Lake and a light drizzle. He lost concentration for half a second and begun slip and sliding on the mid, doing an on the spot moonwalk attempting to stay vertical. He ended up horizontal.

The rain cleared as the Larrikin approached Paine Grande Refugio and Pehoé Lake.

Day 4 – Glacier Grey

Ascended from Paine Grande to Glacier Grey. Arrived early so the Larrikin decided to head up to the three suspension bridges, one-hour walk between each. A local bloke told him that today was going to be windy. It’s always ferociously windy here so if this bloke is saying it’s windy, it must be off the charts windy. And it was. After getting lost from the second suspension bridge and ending up on the edge of a cliff next to the glacier, the Larrikin was crawling on all fours, grabbing on to boulders for dear life along the right path that overhung a sharp descent. Never in his life has he felt like nature was trying to kill him anymore than at this moment. The wind was literally trying to blow him off his feet. Surrounding were burnt out trees creaking as the gale force wind makes them lock horns with each other.

The suspension bridges were death defying. The swing on these things, especially on a day where even the locals think it’s windy was a bit out of control.

Sun made an appearance when the Larrikin returned to the Refugio alive, and he sat in a deck chair staring up at the ferocious cliffs whilst the clouds shifted and transformed aggressively in the sky. He still couldn’t work out how he had got to this place and this time. Bloody sensational!

Day 5 – Puerto Natales

The Larrikin didn’t get lost today! Trek from Refugio Grey to Paine Grande to get a ferry to connect with a bus to Puerto Natales. The ferry left at 11:10am, 20 minutes before is said it could. The bus on the other side left at 1.30, 30 minutes after it was scheduled. Chilean time. Ended up seeing the back of the Three Towers as the bus was driving back to Natales.

So they were a few moments throughout The Perks of Patagonia! The Longitudinal  Larrikin could not recommend this trek or even destinations individually any higher. The countryside is like no other; harsh and battered fauna, surrounded by picturesque landscape. It really is a shame for the Larrikin to be leaving this place but at least now there’s a good incentive to come back.

Double Yewww Trek, thanks for having me!