The Story of Moscow
In the olden days, there was a river that flowed through a small town. In the winter time, the cows would come from surrounding farmland to drink from the river as the townspeople melted part of the river for access to the water. As such, a contagious moss grew on the river banks. The immune system of the cows was not as strong as the humans and therefore the cows were contaminated. As the winters passed, and the cows continued to return to the river, so too did the moss continue to grow up the legs of each cow and onto its body.

The contamination became so great that the cows became just a massive heap of slippery moss. The contaminated cows that were slaughtered for food were no good to the townspeople because the meat would just slip off the plate when they tried to use a knife and fork to cut it. The same happened when they tried to use their teeth to chew it.

The townspeople grew hungry and the were on the brink of dying until a life changing event occurred.
A little boy was born. His name was Vladimir Lenin and he lead what we know today as the Soviet Union. Lenin became famous for saving this town however this was not all his was internationally known for. Lenin was also the lead singer of The Beatles – what a guy!

In honour of the Great Moss Cow Dilemma, the town was named Moscow. To mark respect, Lenin also wrote a song called Yesterday to remember what happened back in the day.

The Perky Pilgrims arrived to this historic city by overnight train. Putin himself heard the Pilgrims were in town and so flew into the Palace Square that evening to ensure the city was looking it’s most spectacular.

Except it wasn’t…

Upon exploration of all the touristy crap, Red Square was filled with a makeshift stadium using a bitta four-be-two and therefore was closed. The Pilgrims managed to get a few cheeky snaps of some of the attractions but the photographs were limited due to this event, an event that nobody knew what it was for. It wasn’t until their transfer to the airport leaving Moscow that the driver informed the Pilgrims it was the city’s birthday in September.

Only six days in the former USSR was probably perceived as though the Pilgrims were Russian to get in and out. This is not entirely true. When there is a particular amount of time to see as much as possible, there cannot be long stays anywhere. Get a taste and get the hell out.

If you’re reading this and are inclined to go to Russia, the most difficult part is getting a visa. For the most part, everyone can communicate in English and they have some mouthwatering beef stroganoffs and chicken kievs. Don’t be deterred by what you read in the papers or watch on the news, the people are as friendly to you as you are to them.

The Perky Pilgrims’ next pit stop is to oui oui in Paris!

Read more of the Perky Pilgrim adventures here…