A city where everyone seems to be obsessed with eyes. Eye this, eye that. They say eye after every sentence or as a response if they agree with you. A strange bunch. That suits the Scallywags because it means we fit right in.

A train ride from London had us greeted by Mark’s uncles wife, Sue, who drove us to Mark’s grandparents’ home. His grandparents’ names are Raymond and Jean. I am no stranger to this household or these people, having visited in their winter 2012 on the tail of being a Backpacking Battler. And perhaps it was for this reason, that I felt much more comfortable carrying out the tricks that I think only the Scallywags find laughable.

Raymond and Jean are the most hospitable, kind hearted and generous people I have ever met. This makes them the perfect target for the Scallywags to get up to a bit of mischief. Besides all the untruths we informed them of, the tricks that we got the best kicks from was rearranging. The Scallywags would hijack Raymond and Jean’s calendar and add events they didn’t know they had. An example of this was that in two days time, they have to go and pick all the flowers from the garden. Nothing vulgar, just enough to make them laugh and us laugh harder at the thought of any confusion. Uncontrollably chuckling, it became a phenomenal idea to rearrange and swap all the paintings on the wall as well as switch the ornaments from one place to another.

I think the saddest thing about the fact the Scallywags have a laugh from this type of behaviour is that the victims are as I have previously described them, their age included.

A trick was accidentally played at a buffet restaurant we had lunch at. Raymond thought Jean had paid the bill while he went to the bathroom. Jean thought Raymond had paid when he walked past the counter to the bathroom. It wasn’t until the next morning did we realise we got four free meals. So cheeky.

Reminiscing on the days when he grew up in Newcastle, Mark led the way on a walk through his old real estate. It was nice to do something a bit different and see where your mate spend his early years.

Easily the best thing we did during my three say stay was visit the brewery of Mark’s uncle, Al. When I was here last time, he was in the midst of sorting out the Firebrick Brewery. A private tour by the big marn himself, we tasted every beer as it was poured straight from the big drum where it ferments. You can’t drink beer any fresher than that!

A lengthy walk down to the Boathouse Pub where they advertise ’14 hand pulls’ (referring to the old school style of pouring a beer – get your mind out of the gutter). Ruthless banter that was proof you can still be immature when you aren’t supposed to be i.e. old. The only problem with this night was that I had to wake up at 4am the next day to catch a plane down to Portugal.

Although this reigns the end of the Suitcasing Scallywags, the memories and achievements will live on forever. Mark will stay with his family for another week and Nath will go wherever the wind takes him for the next two weeks. Both will have their stories but the stories of the Scallywags will be of just this Scallywag as he conquers more of Earth.