I have so many better colourful photographs for this post except I can’t get my hands on a computer – apologies
Who the hell decides to go to the Sahara Desert in the summer? None other than this Suitcasing Scallywag bloody IDIOT!
A thirteen hour bus ride from Marrakech towards the line that separates Morocco from Algeria. Dripping from head to toe with sweat, producing more water than drinking it, the Scallywag was thrown left, right, up, down, back, forth and whatever way it’s possible to be thrown. This bus driver must have got his license from a Twisties packet. Screaming down a one lane ‘highway’, the vista was incredible but fairly constant so everyone on my bus started to get the head wobbles as they drift in and out of sleep. It’s pretty funny to watch.
You know when you were at school and on an excursion the year group had to split into two for the buses to and from school? There was always a good bus and a bad bus. A bus that you knew would provide banter and another that would provide shanter. A cool bus and a nerd bus. You’d do anything within your power to jump onto that cool bus. Usually when you ended up on the bus you didn’t want to, you had a chat to people you never normally would have spoken to otherwise. I found myself in this exact predicament. I found myself on the nerd bus talking to some pretty interesting Swedes as Morocco’s version of Triple J’s Hottest 100 was competing with the our sound waves.
Throwing his left leg from one side of a camel, lying flat on it’s stomach, to the other side, the Wizard of Aus positioned himself between the camel’s humps. Looking toward the ground was the biggest camel toe this Suitcaser had ever seen. Camel toes everywhere!
Alice the camel was two humps from being a horse of course. As this desert beast stood up, the jolt felt like the unexpected takeoff on a rollercoaster. The Wizard of Aus had a grin from ear to ear. He wasn’t just in the Sahara riding a camel, he was in motherfather Africa riding a camel! Shut the front door! The experience was one of a ‘reporter’ on a travel show on the telle. That has got to be the best job in the world, if you can even call it a job. I’d call it ‘living the dream’.
I don’t know what else I was expecting but I definitely should have had kids or frozen sperm before I chose this activity. My baggy black fat pants from Turkey, light blue collar that I found two years ago in a hostel in Croatia and my head scarf that one of the desert blokes tied around my head, made the pain much more bearable. I felt as though I fitted the part. Trying different strategies to ride Alice, I found that grinding her in rhythm with her ordinary walk hurt the least. She needs orthotics I think.
I’ve always been against glamping (glorious camping) but after a long day I was happy to have everything set up and organised, including the availability of electricity and a flushing toilet. Wasn’t hellbent on the scorpions running around on the sand or the resident mouse I found hiding around my mattress. Cheeky little bugger.
You’ve never seen so many stars in the sky. Staring at the Milky Way and wondering how I’m able to see something I’m living inside of (all that stuff wigs me out like nothing else), the desert blokes did some drumming. To those living there it would have seemed so touristy but considering I had never experienced anything like it, it felt pretty authentic to me. And that gets me onto my next point.
Why the hell are people living out here?! They’re almost dumber than I am for coming here in summer! The salt water underground gives life to some flora but it’s not drinkable for humans. It’s not even a good climate to farm (with all my experience as a hordoculturalist)! Don’t understand people’s logic sometimes. I guess if they don’t know any different though and are happy where they are, why should they bother moving?
An unforgettable sun rise over the sand dunes and by 8:30am it was already thirty-three degrees celsius. A long way to travel for one night but to experience something I’ve been keen to do for a few years now, it was definitely worth it. If I didn’t do it, I’d be sitting at home hearing about other people do it
